I keep saying how I want to get a journal and write all this down, but what is a blog if not an online journal. So here goes. All what you might ask? Or I might ask. All this amazement that I look at every day. I will say that I honestly think I don't take for granted this amazing gift I've been given. I think a lot of that has to do with all we've been through to get our little miracle (if you don't know what "all we've been through" is, start at the beginning). I absolutely know how precious she is. Now don't get me wrong, all parents know how precious their kiddos are BUT when you have to wait and pray and pray and wait to MAYBE have a baby it really puts things into prospective. She is our dream come to life. I have discovered patience I never knew existed, and ways to function with minimal amounts of sleep. Here's an example. My little darling was up at 3am this morning, not that unusual, but that she was up and wanted to play was. I woke up and looked at the clock, "holy cow! it's 3am! Mary Grace hasn't been up yet, HURRY! go check, make sure she's breathing" (I will also say I'm ALWAYS grateful and amazed that she is) so I walk in to take a peek and she looks right at me with a huge, gummy grin. I can't help it, I break the cardinal rule of no eye contact after bedtime, I smile back. That's it, it's all over. I nurse her with the hopes that she'll become milk drunk and fall back into her peaceful slumber... nope. She tricks me a little, nurse sweetly, close eyes, nod off. I remove her from the boob and BAM! eyes wide open, gummy grin looking right at me. Sooo we rock and snuggle and sing a few songs, I check the clock, 3:45. Oh crap, I've gotta work in the morning. So I'm now really trying to get her to go back to sleep, she's not having it. She's not the least bit crabby, nor apparently the least bit sleepy. We rock some more, I lay her in her crib with her blanky. However, because I am panicked that she will either a) smother herself with her blanket or b) choke herself, I cannot leave the room. I snuggle into the chair with a baby sized blanket, not near enough to cover me up. She lays there peacefully for 5, 10, 15 minutes. Safe to go back to bed, I go to remove the baby death trap from her crib and she shows me that she in fact was not sleeping, just enjoying the beautiful wall art that mommy painted for her (big mistake on my part!). So in hopes that she'll go back to sleep so I in turn can go to sleep I take her into the guest room so we can snuggle in there. She'll have none of this laying still UNLESS she can play with (and by play with I mean rip out) momma's hair. So I of course let her and by 5:30 my sweet girl is back asleep. I, (bald patch and all) am right along with her. Then the alarm goes off. Up to start a new day, and not even really missing that sleep. It is worth it. Every minute I spend with her is priceless. I fall more in love everyday.
Just for the record, this was NOT last night. This was a night that she was actually sleeping.
I love this...I really do! I keep telling myself that blogger is like my scrapbook! I will love reading your stories and looking at any precious pics you might choose to load of sweet Mary Grace. Love it and thank you:)
ReplyDeleteI am definitely only blogging for myself at this point, just for a journal too :) I love going back and reading about my little Mabelle and don't want to not have that for my Cashy.
ReplyDeleteAnd believe me, I can identify with the sleep problems...it will get better and keep that same perspective of just enjoying the extra time with her in the middle of the night or wee early morning hours and you'll get thru it all just fine :)
I hope that I can be 1/2 the Mama you are once day! Love you.
ReplyDeleteAnd by once I mean one...;)
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